The 21 steps to condom usage

Yep. if you were really wondering WHAT you were getting for your dollars you fork out to UNC for the kiddo’s (kiddoes’) time in Chapel Hill, here’s a taste:

A “sexual health activity” at UNC Chapel Hill teaches students how to “correctly put on a condom” using twenty-one steps laid out in “condom line-up cards.” […]

Um, step one:  It’s NOT a hat.  

[…]The activity, promulgated by UNC’s Student Wellness center, is meant to “increase the participant’s comfort with condom use” and “raise participant’s consciousness about safer sex practices, condom use, and dental dams.”

The game is played by giving students “condom cards,” either 8.5 inch x 11 inch sheets of paper or index cards with a step of “proper condom use” written on each one. Students are given five minutes to “put the steps in order.”

“Make it a competition and the first team to finish ‘wins,’” the Wellness website explains. (It is unclear what “winning” means in this context; the game instructions place the term “wins” in quotation marks, suggesting that there is no meaningful distinction for finishing first in the competition.)

The steps for alleged proper condom usage include checking the expiration date, obtaining “affirmative consent,” “kissing,” “arousal,” performing a “visual inspection” of the condom, performing another “visual inspection” later on, engaging in intercourse, disposing of the condom, and “savor[ing] the afterglow.”

Facilitators are instructed to “explain why the cards belong in the order,” telling students, for example, that “the expiration date should be checked when condoms are purchased or gotten so in the heat of the moment, a person doesn’t have to search the package for the date that is in small print.”

Participants will also learn about “the importance of getting consent before any sexual interaction,” “the hazards of spermicides,” “the variety of condoms,” and “flavored or other condom use.”

Yeah.  These folks sure aren’t getting enough of our tax dollars.