Giggler-Gomer ’24 ?

There’s a good chance the Democrats may be foisting our doofus governor onto the rest of the country.  Sorry, America.

(We already scared you once in 2004 with John Edwards. Didn’t mean to do it again.)

Lady Luck has smiled on Roy Cooper a lot.  Despite everyone and their mother knowing Cooper was eyeing a 2016 race against GOP governor Pat McCrory, our feckless state party regularly gave the then-attorney general a pass.  Sacrificial lambs with little cash were regularly tossed at Cooper every four years.  Some Republicans — like state senator Lisa Barnes — gave Cooper cash when he had Republican opposition. 

As attorney general, Cooper so mismanaged the state crime lab that localities found themselves having to outsource their crime scene / CSI work in order to prosecute and close cases. But the state GOP couldn’t find the chutzpah to ever raise the issue against Cooper.

Cooper led the leftist cheerleading about HB2 — the state legislation codifying that men must use men’s restrooms and locker rooms, and ladies must use ladies restrooms and ladies locker rooms.  Cooper — while running for governor of North Carolina –– encouraged economic boycotts of North Carolina while the law remained on the books. Instead of smacking Cooper for fighting this piece of common sense, Republican legislators fell all over themselves to distance themselves from the law and eventually repealed it.

There were also some ethics issues that Republicans let slip. There was the solar farm (w/ govt $$$$ benefits) property that Cooper tried to pass off as his brother’s.  And let’s not forget the ol’ shakedown of the Atlantic Coast Pipeline deal. 

State Republicans initially stood strong against Obama’s drive to expand Medicaid.  They correctly identified Medicaid as wasteful and expensive.  Initially, there was a strong fight against its expansion.

Not much later, we suddenly had a veto-proof majority of Republicans in the legislature joining hands with Cooper to expand Medicaid.    Speaker Tim Moore and senator Phil Berger were videoed on the grounds of the governor’s mansion clapping like seals as ol’ Roy signed the expansion into law.  *Party of smaller government, my butt.*

Cooper’s appointments were so draconianly leftist that Joe Biden lured two of them — Environment and DHHS — to Washington.  Ol’ Roy subjected us to some of the most draconian and unreasonable COVID restrictions while the Republicans sat idly by and smiled politely.

One thing I’ll say for Cooper:  He has one hell of a comms / PR team.  They could sell snowshoes to Jamaicans.  His team has run circles around the Republican “effort,” and helped “sell” the Charlie Foxtrot known as Cooper-ism.

It’s amazing.  Roy Cooper has accomplished a lot for a Democrat governor in a GOP-owned town. The national media is treating the man like they know he’s all but tapped for the #2 spot on the ticket. (Mika had him on “Morning Joe” this AM for an extended interview.) 

Cooper could soothe the anxiety some Democrat voters may have about Kamala’s California kookiness. But I’d still take Donald Trump’s pick for the #2 slot — JD Vance — any time, any day over our very own Governor Gomer Pyle.

Personally, I think JD would make our beta male governor cry. 

Cooper’s sweetheart of a wife ought to please some of the Kamala fans.  She got caught “flipping off” some parents and kids who were holding American flags at an event she was visiting. 

But maybe it all won’t happen.  Maybe we’ll just have to deal with Roy through December.  And possibly see him again for a 2026 run against Therrible Thom.