It wasn’t long ago that Jones Street was trying to protect us from bared boobies. Now, they’ve set their sights on self-pleasure.
I’ve heard of chemical agents and radioactive material being weaponized, but not masturbation. So, I tuned in for all the bawdy details.
Apparently, the original legislation wanted to make masturbation in a state prison facility a Class F felony. (*Never mind that there are already all kinds of indecent exposure and lewd conduct laws on the books.*)
That concerned some of the honorables in the hearing so much that they started offering up amendments. (*That masturbation regulation legislation could be expanded to the legislative office complex in Raleigh !!! And that WON’T do.*)
Rep Graig Meyer (D-Orange) — who you may remember is ashamed of being white — wanted to amend the legislation to allow masturbation in cases where it’s, um, “done” underneath a blanket.
Rep. Bob Steinburg (R-Chowan) — who is quite frequently described by his followers on social media as “Christ-like” — decided to unleash his inner seventh grader. Steinburg can be heard on the linked audio saying:
And let’s not forget THIS other gem from The Pickle Man. (I’m suuuuuure he was just asking for a, um, “friend”):
“Let’s say somebody on the street — a regular guy or gal, whatever the case may be — is caught by a law enforcement officer in an alley self-gratifying himself or herself. What would be the charge? I would presume it would be indecent exposure or something like that.[…]
[… Inmates] have urges like the rest of us have, or used to. […]
You know, I would think gangs, gay rape, and drug smuggling would be much bigger “safety” risks in prisons. But I’m glad to see some of the “honorables” having fun at work.